Monday, December 28, 2009
This Christmas
This Year, There Was No Terror.
Cons and Fusions
It had been an interesting year,
Where different things took place,
And different ways to handle different things.
Past Week
I wouldn't say that it was eventful,
But it too, wasn't boring.
It was a different way to spend Christmas XD
But no complains,
I'm just glad that no tragedies happened this X'mas LOLOLOL
---
I'm not lying,
And so aren't your senses.
Your senses never lies.
(Unless they are not operating properly)
Misinterpretation is a common occurrence.
Don't blame your senses for what your own failures.
It is important to be attentive,
And to keep an open mind,
Well,
A Logical and Rational Open Mind.
Crushed.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
I'm losing my mind.
YES, I haven't lost it, just yet.
Apparently,
There are two forces at battle.
And these forces aren't "Optimism and Pessisism".
I bet attachment did this to me!
Oh Wells,
Time to knock off.
4 months ago, I said 5 more months.
Do the math.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
"It's Different"
Getting of 961,
I contemplated between taking 67 or taking the LRT back.
I chose neither.
Instead, I walked home alone under the rain.
Yes!
I did have my umbrella to shelter me from the precipitation,
But I still felt as though I was being pelt by rain
(Or that may be due to the fact that my jeans got wet along the way home XD)
It is like a cooling off period of some sorts;
Remembering how to walk this path home,
And how it felt.
The road from Bukit Panjang to Teck Whye,
Is filled with ups and downs,
Literally.
Mark my words, I'll flare up one day.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
The word I should use to explain today, is "Eventful" :D
On a side note, I really need badminton to tune back up my reaction speed.
Ticks and Docks.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Although I've been sleeping late,
And been waking up late,
I was introduced to something awesome on CNA!
Now, it's to wait for that video to be posted on youtube :/
A Matter Of Perception
Thursday, December 17, 2009
A magician will never reveal their tricks,
If it were plain tricks.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I'm at WORK!
Wait, Something tells me I shouldn't be blogging.
Oh snaps :/
Dance, Sleeve of White Snow
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
"5 Stages of Grief"
"Lost"
Perhaps I was lost, had no direction to go,
Or maybe there was a path,
But I wasn't enjoying the idea of taking it.
But deep down, I've already accepted it.
It's an unforgettable loss.
"Lies"
Once again,
I'm talking about lies!
This post is so a rip off from my archive!
Lies,
People lie to protect.
Some deceive to prevent themselves or others from being hurt,
While some may misguide others so that they achieve their ulterior motive.
Why do I lie?
I need to protect myself,
As well as lock away the past,
Because not every moment I want to keep away from the world,
Is my proudest.
But ultimately,
I don't want to lie.
If I don't answer questions,
It is due to a few reason:
1. I didn't hear it
2. Question is too vague
3. I really don't know how to answer it
4. I rather not say anything than lie.
If things are meant to be said,
It will come naturally,
Eventually.
"Intentions"
Just to get this straight,
I don't reckon I need that kind of help.
Even if I did,
If the intentions are good,
Why cause the trouble?
I seriously doubt it.
What do I need help in, you may ask.
Controlling my weight and paranoia XD
"Grief"
In actuality,
I'm long done with wallowing in self-pity XD
It's like being melodramatic and attention seeking at the same time
(which isn't my purpose, btw)
I'm not emo and /wrist,
And I've been relatively contented and happy,
BUT,
The ever so famous BUT,
I tend to forget important lessons.
I make the same mistakes,
Over,
and Over again.
Careless?
I think it is more of the lack of self-discipline.
Yes, My self-discipline went missing,
But now found :D
"Time"
With the bat of an eyelid,
Attachment ends,
Graduation is over,
No longer a Ngee Ann Student (sadly),
2 years in NS,
Attempts to enter UNI with a good science course,
While working part time.
It's a sad and lonely future.
Those aren't exactly the things I saw
(not that I remember cause it hasn't happened),
But I want a change.
And wanting isn't good enough,
It's time to walk the talk.
But where do I start?
To see the invisible,
Observe the visible.
I want the truth.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
In the midst of the confusion,
Only one thing stands clear.
Circumstantial Truth Pt.1
It wasn't just an act.
It wasn't a parlour trick.
It is a matter, which can only be explained by drilling back
To the basic fundamentals of perception and
How you decide what is the truth, and what isn't.
I do see, hear and notice.
But based on circumstances,
I have to do different.
Like ignoring, for example.
Ignoring the situation,
Isn't the same as denying the truth.
Others may say that I'm often paranoid,
Freak out too easily,
Have difficulties remaining composed.
I won't say that there is no truth to that,
But that is what others perceive based on the circumstances,
It isn't necessary the full idea.
Details,
I nitpick with details a lot,
Because there isn't true certainty.
And it's proven that I'm good at putting pictures together,
With some exceptions.
A better and more subtle way to phrase it,
Is that I "Often don't pay attention to what I'm doing,
and constantly bugged with these random and irrelevant thoughts",
Ruled by insecurities,
I mean, There ARE times which I completely forget,
But totally loosening up is a no.
It seems that when I start to feel intoxicated,
My processing starts to drop,
But the observation area increases a lot,
With the down point that the attention span seems shorter than usual,
Except for times that I tried to drown it out
But it keeps coming back,
As though its easier to focus on it than to drive it away.
I would start talking even more, and even faster,
And combined with the fact that I had lost many many hours of sleep,
My body, limbs and the sense of touch (and maybe movement control)
Starts to become sluggish and droopy.
My speech also slurs and filled with more mistakes than ever.
The one issue is that,
I still didn't get drunk,
With the proof that I remembered everything till that point of detail,
I was practically awake from nightfall to daybreak.
So even under such control situations,
I have no idea what I'll be if I'm drunk,
But at least now I have a rough idea.
And I admit I held back.
I did drink, and keep drinking,
But I was careful.
To savour every moment and slowly notice how I fade away.
Savour what moment?
To enjoy how I loosen up,
Even if it was a little bit,
Even though my shoulder area was still tensed up.
Hopefully everything mentioned above
Isn't the placebo effect in place :/
One of the many pictures I haven't successfully pieced together,
Is how it works.
I know and personally lived through the phase that I know,
I know that "Everything happens for a reason".
And everything is already "beforehand" before the actual.
AND As much has I hate to admit,
Up to even this point where I'm typing this ridiculous point,
What which has never been remembered,
Is still the same,
It still happened :/
This isn't the first time I said this,
But Nothing Has Changed.
I starting to wonder if its ever possible,
To change anything,
Without taking myself out of the equation.
(Note: Observer's effect)
I just remembered that there is something I failed to mention,
Out of the entire truth,
Which a few knows,
Which I'm attempting to contain the spread,
But by doing this it doesn't help,
And I'm going to ignore their judgemental eyes
(Plus with the alcohol out of the system, I may be a bit edgy)
Using a soft touch of certainty,
I think it is over just yet.
The Many worlds interpretation.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Save me,
Take me away from here.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Mess
Slowly, Digging My Own Grave.
Seeking for the Wrong Things.
Such things,
Are not meant to be Forced or Tempered with.
It is going against the flow of nature.
Even if it was made to happen,
The only thing which has been done,
Is delaying the inevitable end,
While causing more collateral damage.
Not all sacrifices will find you gold.
Once in like Never.
For the first time,
Me, Raynard, and Francine,
Was at the same place at the same time!
(That basically means we met up)
Mess
In the past 3 months,
No wait, that may be incorrect.
In the past 1 and a Half Year,
I've been digging myself into this grave,
Which I've been trying to climb out.
But every time something like that (refer to locked blog) happens,
The sinkhole just gets bigger and deeper.
Sooner or later,
I'll get washed away,
When the water returns to the stream.
But which will happen first?
Foolish.
