Slayer's Threshold

Death and The Edge of the Sea 2

2011-08-09T02:37:00.003+08:00

Death and The Edge of the Sea 2

I've striked out what I wanted to say,
Because it isn't important.
What which is important,
Is that you get this into your head,
I'M OVER YOU OKAY!
HAHA.
Do be happy for me, okay
Because I am no longer at your beck and call
I'm no longer going to appear anywhere near you
and most importantly,
I'M NO LONGER A FOOL
We shall celebrate this years national day with some fireworks!

The Other Side of the Universe

2011-08-06T01:13:00.002+08:00

The Other Side of the Universe

Blatant Dreams
Perhaps I've been sleeping too much.
I've been dreaming again.
And this time round,
It involves slicing down all those obstacles
That gets in my way.

Reality
It's odd.
Really odd.
Something happened, I don't know what,
But I feel empowered.
I'm looking forward to that day,
To see how I'll fare,
Fare against the strength of that presence.

[Enters "only my railgun" themesong]

and another Spinoff

2011-07-17T03:54:00.003+08:00

and another Spinoff

Dark and misty,
Sitting above the rocks,
Looking down upon the still murky water.
At least there is eternal peace,
Where zen and focus has never been an issue.
The beautiful surface is just like tainted glass,
Reflecting the blissful darkness of this place.
Hmm?
It is faint, but there are minuscule ripples on the no longer calm surface.
But why.
Where is the origin.
That direction?
There is nothing there but.. wait....
Ah, of course.
It will only make sense.
It's an impending thunderstorm.

Just another spin-off

2011-07-01T15:40:00.003+08:00

Just another spin-off

It's been so dark.
So dark in here.
Not a single window,
Nor a door.
All there was, was floating masses
and the occasional rain.

I can't recall what made me feel this way,
Or since when I've felt like this,
But I've always longed for the light,
I've always wanted to escape this abyss.

But the light thy seek belongs to another world,
One I will never be able to cross into.

Along came the will, with its whisper;
Perhaps if I became full-fledged,
And through opening the way,
I'll end up in a time and find what I sought for.

2011-06-25T17:17:00.002+08:00

Spin around.
The only way, is to lose my humanity,
Just like how he did it.
But I think I'm no longer capable.

2011-05-29T12:09:00.002+08:00

It's like entering a 7 ELEVEN looking for spearmint,
But all that is left is MINT.
Given the fact that I only want MENTOS,
MINT was selected.

Or perhaps one can relate to getting HOTCAKES WITH SAUSAGE
when one wants ENORMOUS OMELETTE SANDWICH,
But by the time one reaches BURGER KING,
The breakfast menu will be closed,
So one settles with HOTCAKES WITH SAUSAGE,
After all, breakfast is important to me.
But for now I'll stick with the MENTOS analogy cause I used it recently.

So I picked MINT anyway.
I like MINT,
Just that one that particular day I was craving for SPEARMINT.
So as I was happily chewing away on my MINT,
I still wanted SPEARMINT.
So it slowly became very distasteful.
I eventually gave up on MINT totally.

The next time round I went to a 7 ELEVEN,
I was elated that SPEARMINT was in stock!
So I immediately bought it!
However as I was gumming down the SPEARMINT,
I remember how I was eating MINT while craving for SPEARMINT,
And it ALSO became very distasteful.
So in the end I can no longer stand MINT or SPEARMINT.
And STRONGMINT is definitely out of the picture.

get the picture?

There is but, one small hiccup in this analogy.
If it were breakfast, I'll never forgo EOS.

Romance Dawn to Thailand

2011-04-30T15:52:00.001+08:00

I hate it, but
Romance Dawn to Thailand.

Through the Midnight

2011-04-08T03:54:00.002+08:00

Through the Midnight
...............................
It's like a short break that I won't get to enjoy.
All the crazy back to back exercises are going to start again,
All the planning and everything.
Even though I don't go through the stressful parts,
It's still a lot to take in.
I'm running out of time.
And more than ever,
I feel that I cannot balance my 'worklife' and 'personal life',
Though I guess I don't have much of a personal life left!
Been seeing and hearing all kinds of things lately,
and my migraines have left me nothing but highly irritable,
And all my selfishness comes spewing out.
It's hard to remain motivated,
Or to even remain nonchalant.
But I won't allow any further deterioration,
Because I quote myself,

"The only way to become a better person,
Is to first know who you want to become"

And I know what I want to achieve at the end of it all.

Dusk before the Next Dawn

2011-04-03T17:56:00.003+08:00

Dusk before the Next Dawn
...............................
Went back to Ngee Ann,
To see the preparations for the upcoming FOC
Same things as per usual,
And it was oddly fun.
I probably miss the life,
But it's already too far away.

Romance Dawn to Brunei

2011-03-06T05:03:00.005+08:00

Romance Dawn to Brunei
...............................
It's way past sleeping time, I know,
And this blog is so very dead,
Which is why I'm making use of this opportunity.

Let's put all the creepiness and neediness aside alright.
It isn't about the remembrance,
Nor is it about forgetting and pretending.

What that is written, will come to pass,
That I am sure of,
Just that,
How the heck would I know what is written?
Everything only makes sense when you connect the dots to the past,
Cause it has already happened, and one can deduct a simple explanation.

Sometimes,
I ask myself,
Why the heck do I still give a flying fish,
But the truth is,
I can't turn it off,
Cause I'm still human after all.
And I need to find ways to let out all this pent up steam,
and this is it!

I can't say that in the past 3 years I've never been happier,
Cause that will totally let my caring friends and family down,
But it's been filled with ups and downs.

Serving ain't easy,
and sometimes I lose motivation,
ask myself why, why?
But through the dark and tough times,
I remember that this is the land where all the people I love,
Live, work and play.
Irregardless to me being selfish and dependent,
Requiring the presence of others to help,
I still remember what it's like to be not alone.
But the struggles do get hard,
and every time I fight it,
It comes back bigger and greater.
AND now that I'm going off to that big scary country on a big scary
Flying White Jet Vehicle,
I'm not sure how I'll come back.
SURE, many people done it before,
But I ain't those many people.

OMG I'M RANTING AND GOING OFF TOPIC.

What I'm saying is that,
I don't need special arrangements.
I don't need walls OR bridges.
All I need,
or WANT....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Is to carry on walking down these paths.
I don't care about Corrosion, or Collisions of Conformity,
Nor Timeline, Sequences, Purple Glows, Scarlet Fragments.
Warped Reflections, are just ripples, nothing more.
More, SO MUCH MORE I can mention,
But I'm running short of starlight left in the night,
So....
.
.
.
.
.
.
Maybe one day all the paths,
Hopefully the more important ones,
Will converge again.
But until then
.
.
.
.

I'm Ending off with "Come What May".

2011-03-06T00:17:00.001+08:00

cause I hate feeling like this.

2011-03-05T02:58:00.000+08:00

Because the Chairman has plans that needs to be followed,
And I hate it.

2011-01-31T00:53:00.004+08:00

The Last of January
"&theSLAYER" is read as "and tHE SLAYer"

"Morternate"

2011-01-14T06:45:00.001+08:00

過去3年間で、私は様々な課題、
ではなく、毎回僕は勝つに直面していた。
今年僕が絶対必要は解決すべての問題しなければ。
緩やかな両端が焼けする必要がある場合、それすること。
僕は本当に疲れきっている、
それで僕はネクサスを壊している。
今回は、本当に終わりです。

2011-01-01T16:02:00.002+08:00

It was a long and tough year,
and as it was coming to a close,
it got worse.
Perhaps its a prerequisite of what is to come,
Or a sign that its all over,
I don't know.

All I know,
is that I want all the bad things behind me,
And start this year fresh and anew.

I want to do better and be better.
All talk no action gets no one no where,
And actions speaks louder than words,
So I'll take baby steps.
Every small contribution is part of a bigger effort of a greater good.

And would God please stop reminding me,
And stop me from brooding over it too much.

Cheers, 2011..

Soon,

It'll be the final countdown.

"The Timeline"

2010-10-06T02:45:00.001+08:00

"The Timeline"Original post lost by accident.What a good way to lose the past..

"Failure Is Always An Option"

2010-08-23T09:56:00.003+08:00

"Failure Is Always An Option"
Do not give up,
As it will make all the miracles look
Unimportant and Insignificant,
And all the sacrifices and efforts will be
Put to waste.

Mirrors

2010-08-08T01:13:00.006+08:00

"Mirrors"
reɪn ʌv ˈtɛrər bɪˈgɪnz
It isn't an everyday pleasure,
To be greeted by so many familiar faces.
After all,
One has no idea where thy may land.

Simple Reflections,
A inverted image of a core,
That can vary from point to point,
Just like how an object,
Can cast many shadows,
With different lighting's and perspectives.

Standing in a room,
Filled with mirrors in every direction,
Shedding light of me in every way;
How I change differently amongst different crowds,
and how I try to prevent the thin line from collapsing,
Oh, poor collision of conformity!
Any convergence will cause trouble in disastrous proportions.

The mirrors are starting to crack.

Once and Last

2010-07-31T22:08:00.002+08:00

"Once and Last"
Fool.

I suddenly sprang to life.
Once again I'm lost.
I have no idea where, or even when I'm at.
After some deliberation, I decided to stand up and walk.
I appear to be on the ground,
Lying against rocks.
I see wooden poles with tent pins in them,
and some ropes tied to them. Interesting.

I walk away from the rope course area,
and can see a bright star.
Wait, it's getting bright,
Or Closer.
Vroooommmmmmmmmmm
Turns out to be a plane flying damn low!
Following a hunch,

I walk towards the closest building,
Which I believe I already know the direction.
Of course,
I'm here.
I can see the fence, and the sea behind it.
From this distance,
I can even see myself shining light into the H20 bottle.
and then me,
Has no idea of what will come.

This time round,
I'm at another location.
It suddenly became dark,
and I'm not used to the darkness.
I hear whispers,
and some footsteps.

Ouch, lights suddenly came on.
But what is with those dark magenta curtains?
It is that song.
Now I know where exactly I am.
Before I'm spotted, I need to grab a seat.
I just seat here by side.
Or maybe I'll move in one seat,
hopefully I'm less obvious in this manner.

Till I'm gone,
I'll just have to sit here and watch the performance.
and just before the rehearsal ends,
I'm already gone.

"Chapter 2"

2010-07-18T00:36:00.006+08:00

Running,
Just running.
This path is very very harsh:
It is muddy, slippery and rough all at the same time,
Not to mention that the area is very poorly illuminated,
It is very bad during the need for speed.
But being compared to being out in the open,
Sitting duck to who or what may be chasing after me,
The lush, dark and mysterious forest path is definitely a much wiser choice.

I have no idea where I am this time,
But I have no time to lose.
I get on my feet,
and starting sprinting away.
I'm running at the speed,
That I cannot cover my tracks;
Ironically,
I'm on a getaway mission.
This is DEFINITELY one of those days,
Where there is no rest for the wicked.
To get spotted immediately,
Is almost definitely a cruel, cruel joke.

I'm panting deeply,
Gravely gasping for air.
It seems that for now I have lost my pursuers for now,
But better safe than sorry,
My diversion is already in place.
Despite the fact that hiding in some desolate hut,
where cobwebs can be bigger than my palm are as plentiful as oxygen in air,
covered totally in barbaric graffiti,
it will still make a good hideout.
The most amazing thing,
is that the power isn't disconnected!
So I left one of the old and dusty yellow lights on,
So that it will gain attention,
and distract the trackers away from me.
In the mean time,
I'll have to hide up here,
In the insect-infested rain tree,
Until the moment I am gone again.
And that happened, pretty soon.

"Chapter"

2010-07-04T18:14:00.002+08:00

I am dreaming,
And I find myself in a big white room,
With many white shelves,
Covered in my colorful packaging,
And a sub-standard air conditioning unit.
Given the heat,
I navigate through the maze of white structures,
I find myself walking towards the translucent glass door,
And there, I see me.
It was me standing ahead of me.
I see myself walking towards cages with wheels,
And the expression on my face changes.
I start to make haste in my pace,
And walk up to behind me,
To hear what I'm listening too.
Then I wake up on a hard floor,
Being offered a nice and soft pillow.

I am dreaming,
And I'm standing under a big white tent,
With a nice orange display ahead of me.
There are many trees
(and mostly potted plants around me),
and it is freakishly warm.
In the distance ahead,
I see myself again,
This time round,
Sitting by a table,
Being the audience,
Earnestly watching and listening,
As though it is a movie screening,
Not wanting to miss any important scene.
Wanting to be embrace the moment again,
I walk towards my old self.
I then wake up,
On the same hard floor,
This time round,
I respond to a similar nudge to the leg,
And there,
Are more friends standing by the doorway,
And I know,
It's time to go home.

"Drags and Dreads"

2010-06-29T21:34:00.003+08:00

"Drags and Dreads
If one could reverse the flow,
What will one change?
"Drags"
Everyday,
Waking up at the same time,
Doing the same thing.
I find it hard getting myself motivated.

Eventually,
Or shall I say finally,
I found a motivation.
Why bother wasting the time,
When I can do something about it?
Since I have to do it,
I'll take it like a Man.
"Dreads"
You can't win someone who has nothing to lose.

Day by Day.

"Mikhail's Story"

2010-06-20T12:43:00.001+08:00

"Michael's Story"
Don't Take My Saturday Away

"Together as Friends"

2010-06-02T03:43:00.000+08:00

Just Remember,
I Thank God For You.

"Time"

2010-05-30T04:29:00.003+08:00

"Time"
Nothing can stop the Seasons from Changing;
Nothing can stop the Flow of Time.
"Carved in Stone"
As the printings fade away,
One will realise that nothing lasts forever.
It will eventually disappear into nothingness.
The existance itself will end.

But until then,
I'll keep it alive.
That's my responsibility,
It's my role to play.
Everyone is a part of the puzzle,
A map of strings.

Pulling it or shifting it will cause an adverse effect,
But in the end,
It all boils down to the same destination,
"Destiny",
Is what the foolish people will call,
But the truth is,
It's the path we draw,
It's "Free Will" and "Revolutions".

And eventually, the grip to hold on,
Will be loosened.

POC

2010-05-28T03:24:00.001+08:00

Welcome,
To the Pillars of Creation

"Last Word"

2010-05-23T03:45:00.003+08:00

"Last Word"
"How can you be so arrogant and selfish?"
I get that alot nowadays.
"Walls"
Thanks for convincing me,
But really,
Really,
It's completely unnecessary.

I have gotten so used to building walls,
When one or two of them comes crumbling down,
I feel as though I'm naked.

And I don't like it.
I need to start getting used to this feeling I supposed.

"Comfort Zone"
I'm about to get really uncomfortable.
Needless to say,
To a guy of this age,
The thing they hate the most will most likely be 'EN ASS'.

But so far,
I've been trying to take it cool,
But it ain't working.

Perhaps it is feeling,
Knowing that I'll lose my freedom,
Scares me.

At the very least,
Now I know why I don't commit crimes XD

"Graduation"
And soon,
I won't be a Ngee Ann Student no more.
What are my thoughts?
****.

Hammer of Dawn

Season Finale

2010-05-18T03:51:00.005+08:00

Season Finale
"Lucifer obviously craves his brother’s love,
But Michael is too focused on destiny and
being mindlessly obedient no matter what the cost.
Lucifer, despite all that hatred inside,
doesn’t want to fight.
Michael does, though,
Even though being a good son comes at the cost of being a good brother.
Sound[s] familiar?

Human brothers have learned to stick with one another
Despite their differences
And the curse of bad parenting
But these archangel brothers can’t grasp that concept.
In the battle of free will vs. destiny,
Free will at least drives more rational actions."

http://blogcritics.org/video/article/tv-review-supernatural-swan-song/page-4/#ixzz0oDagQSNe

"Strangers"

2010-04-18T04:17:00.000+08:00

"Strangers"
The Universe Is Plotting Against Me.

"Doors"

2010-04-15T22:16:00.003+08:00

"Doors"
Don't be afraid to let go.

"Shutters"
I can't tell which drew me in:
The bright smiles,
Or the simple familiarity.

After LSCT FOC 10/11,
The lie I've been living for 3 years came to a close,
But for them, it has just begun.

There will always be loose ends,
And those will be the reminders,
On what wonderful 3 years it has been.

"Leap of Faith"
Not all doors remains opened,
Not to mention windows.

There are times where the metaphorical leap is needed.

I can't let it end here now, can I?

:D

I got to make full use of these last few months.

And what has the years got me?

Flash; Back and Forward

2010-04-05T23:50:00.003+08:00

Flash; Back and Forward
Into the 5th year,
4 more years to go.

"Flashbacks"
Perhaps it was because I woke up earlier than a primary school kid,
Or maybe because I was pelt by the freezing water;
As I was shivering,
I remembered something I was told a very long time ago:
"Look at this!
You can hear it right,
It is so cold in this music room,
That my teeth are clattering!"

It was a random thought,
Triggered by a succession of events.
But who thought,
I reminded me of something very important,
Something I had to realise
Before everything,
All of it,
Starts over again.

"Flashforwards"
It took a one year break,
To reach this state,
To make my life twice as miserable,
To never forget,
To never even think that it has disappeared.
Because it hasn't,
And it has already begun.

9 years in Succession huh.

"Distance"

2010-03-29T00:34:00.001+08:00

"Distance"
Slowly,
The bait drifts further and further away,
And it is already too late to reel it in.
Is this what which has happened in the end?

Chess and it's Pieces

2010-03-24T10:26:00.002+08:00

Chess and it's Pieces
Between the Squares, and the Black and White,
Who is the Ultimate Winner?

"Lies"
People lie all the time.
Despite the reasons for their lies,
It all comes down to the basic principle:
"Protection"

It could be to protect their honor,
Or others feelings,
Or to protect their ideals.
I'm not going to go into detail,
As I have already done that twice before,
But my point is that once you see or know what they want to protect,
It is easy to see through the lie.

In contrary,
If you know they are lying,
And understand the concept of "protect",
It will also be easy to see what they intended to protect with the lie.

But up to this date,
I don't understand,
Why did you lie to me 1 and a half years ago?

"Irritable"
I've been easy to irk recently,
I noticed that.

My friends think I'm more "emo" recently.
Technically speaking,
Emo is the short hand for Emotional,
Which doesn't mean sadness and depression alone.
Internet slang really destroys the language nowadays.

Anyhow,
I'm fine.
Well, sort of.
Been like this for 3 years now.

Chess
Most of the time,
It is always about advancing,
Taking over pieces of the enemy,
To eventually hit the kill.
Sometimes, there are traps,
And there will be sacrifices,
But most importantly,
Don't forget when to retreat.

Advancement in Advance.

"Time and Space"

2010-03-14T04:03:00.002+08:00

"Time and Space"
From the point of origin,
I finally found it after 5 years.

"Dimensions"
Revolving around the created fabric,
The two worlds were destined to not meet.
However, as the awakening of the Creator began,
It caused the dimensions of Time and Space to collide.

I can't let the Torn World be involved as well.

"TWY BD"
Another one day which does nothing but destroy the calender!
It started of with the innocent buying chocolate fudge cake
(which later got exterminated),
Which lead to badminton,
and the main event.

It became an awkward dinner,
Before the Mahjong and some shouting.
Alas there was pool
(which I demonstrated how to make balls fly)!

Oh, and did I mention I went to Damala's BDAY,
Than fishing? XD

"Unsaid"
I won't hide it,
But I won't have to say it as well.

The Answer Was Before Me All Along.

Embrace the Truth

2010-03-09T23:56:00.004+08:00

Morgan from the tv series Chuck,
Said that there is no use lying.
Rather than denying to it,
Embrace it.

Vessels of Light

2010-03-05T01:27:00.004+08:00

Vessels of Light
The Shining Guide which Lights my Path;
I Wonder What Lies in the Darkness?

"Blinded"
When there is light,
There will always be a shadow,
Somewhere.

It's too bright,
That I'm blinded by it.

In order to protect my eyes,
I have to turn around,
And yet on the other side,
I'm staring into the darkness.

Where is it,
Where is the holy body,
Which reflects the light back onto the path?

"Eyes"
Even if there were a temporary "replacement",
It is nothing,
Compared to the "true vessel".

The light in the eyes will never light up.

"Work"
YES!
I finally (kind of) graduated!

Though this means that I'm not exactly related to Ngee Ann anymore :/
Working everyday,
Forsaking my holidays.

It is like an escape,
To prevent my mind from wondering off.

But the truth is,
"How do I get out of bed everyday?"

"Wings"
They say that,
Letting go,
Would make the road easier.

But without letting go,
It gives me wings.
Brittle as they may be,
It serves as a reminder to be careful,
and fly, to wherever I want.

2 more years before my dreams come into fruition

Breaking the Silence

2010-02-24T00:37:00.005+08:00

Breaking the Silence
There are spaces to cross,
"Gaps"
"Fancying someone, and doing something about it,
Are very different things.

Nothing will happen,
Nothing can happen."
Quoted from a show.

"Untimely Silence"
It hasn't been stirred for over a year,
But it's happening now.

Is it because I have to wake up to head off to work,
Is it that I can't find any other way to spend my time,
Or is it that there is something in my subconscious that I'm looking for.
Let's face it: You can't control what your subconscious wants.

My world,
It's coming to an inevitable end.
Soon,
But how much sooner?

The frequency of change is increasing,
Together with the magnitude,
I'm not ready for something of this level.

"Goodbye - High and Mighty Color"
"Can't see.
Can't hear.
No fear.
Tell me what you think.
Tell me what you feel.
I wanted to believe you more.
I don't want the smile that breaks out everything anymore.

Can't see.
Can't hear.
No fear.
Tell me what you think.
Tell me what you feel.
I am not afraid of the end.
It doesn't matter, such a thing."

http://www.jpopasia.com/lyrics/32492/high-and-mighty-color/good-bye.html

Spaces that I'll never be able to leap over.

Conceited Nightmares

2010-02-17T21:39:00.004+08:00

Conceited Nightmares
"Disturbed"
It seems to occur more frequently,
When I'm not sleeping in my room.
Those dreams,
Or should I say nightmares.

Like a spoiled music player on constant playback.
With minor changes
(Or what I call glitches)
Occurring each time.

Just stop,
Just leave me alone.
I've been able to go so far for such a long time,
Why bother me now?

As I tear away your mask.

Distance

2010-02-11T00:38:00.001+08:00

Distance
You're standing right in front of me,
Yet you are so far away.

Black and White 14; The Road That Never Ends

2010-02-04T23:53:00.011+08:00

Black and White 14;
The Road That Never Ends
Before the walls come crashing down,
Allow me to say my peace.

"Disbelief"
It has already been so long.
I don't believe I came all this way.
I don't think this is normal, at all.

"Last Word"
How can you be so selfish?
You will be alone in the end.
This is the Last word.

So I can't stand with you anymore.

I don't wanna see you anymore.
So, I don't feel like talking to you anymore

You cause others to suffer with your irrational judgments

You are a coward

This is my last warning.

So, I can't stand with you anymore.

Is that a way you are? This is a way I am!
I don't wanna see you anymore. I don't feel like talking to you anymore.

Doredake migatte furumau no
Tsuyogari na dake to shitteru no ni
Wakatte nai no wa kimi dake
Sore ni kizukenai no nara
Itsumade mo
Kizutsukete
Hitori de ireba ii
Kore de mou saigo da ne

"7 Minutes To Minute"
I tried,
I tried so hard,
To build walls,
And tear down the bridge.

Besides the point where I still recollect in "Extinction",
It doesn't change the fact that I'm trying to shut it out.

At least at a healthy level,
But if it doesn't work,
I will shut it out totally.

"The Road That Never Ends"
Never ending,
Forever Stretching,
Even after reaching the destination,
There is always somewhere else.

Come to think of it,
My archives had a lot of hidden answers (and junk):

December 7, 2008,
I made a post which contained the following:
"Whichever path which is chosen,
There is hope that the paths will converge.

Stalling for time,
Not wanting to make a decision.
The land behind starts to sink in further.
It's cruel to walk one path to avoid another,
It's cruel to being forced to walk one path.

But time doesn't wait for anyone."

I still remember the feelings which led me to write that post.

I still stand by those words.
But I no longer have the time to stall.

With these hands...

The One-Way Understanding

2010-01-31T12:01:00.005+08:00

The One-Way Understanding
When I reached the conclusion,
I felt some sort of relief.

"Favoritism"
When I had greater responsibilities,
I used impartiality's to keep my favoritism in control.
Now that it has nothing to stop it,
It wants to let loose.

But I can't allow that.

"Eyes"
No worries,
This isn't another post about my eyes.

This time,
It's about what others see,
When something like that happens.
The shock,
And the never-ending questions.

Such a pity,
Cause it seems that only I noticed this time round.

"Night Cycling 2010"
Hurray!
It's done, it's completed!
The trail is different,
Different from what he would have done,
But after all,
With safety and everything in place,
And some minor setbacks,
Kudos to the Organizers.

It was good,
Cycling around the long LONG track.
I mean from East Coast Macs to Bedok Jetty,
That part was easy to expect,
Than it went to a totally different road which I can't remember anymore,
and the weird names,
Totally funny.
Plus I think it was a good thing,
For me to be in a small group for a change,
With people I can talk to.
Its not bad, really XD

Didn't really have supper
(Went to the place which Wee Lin drove us to have Curry Fish Head at Changi Village),
And the wait for Breakfast was taking forever,
But it was worth it.

The entire night cycling,
Was the worth.
To finish the 3 years together.

Shhh,
Stop talking,
Can you hear what I'm thinking?

It's easier to be alone, then to be complicated.

2010-01-29T09:56:00.001+08:00

What are you seeing that you are not saying?

Keys

2010-01-25T23:38:00.003+08:00

Keys
The burn, slowing spreading,
Engulfing everything around it.

"Music"
My song list,
Having all kinds of music,
From all walks of life,
Well,
At least from the different parts of my life so far.

Even now,
When certain songs starts playing,
It summons different emotions,
Like a collection of feelings I dealt with at those times.

"Dreams"
Black and White,
Hammers and Strings,
And Grand.
And there.

"Keys"
No matter how shattered a lock is,
Or how many duplicates and master keys there are,
The truth is,
Both the lock and original key,
Deserves it's owner.

Can you do it?

Purple Glow

2010-01-24T01:15:00.028+08:00

Purple Glow
There came a time when the one will rise
and bring light into the darkness.

"Nightmares"
It's not like I've been having sleepless nights.

Asleep,
Haunted by the ghost of my past,
Showing me images in red and purple,
The shattering them into the blue and pink.

Awake,
And having trouble recalling all of it.
Or what had to be done.

And it's making me,
Very, very tired.

"Truth"
2009, Finally came to a close,
I have my resolutions in place,
And I'm making my preparations.
Soon, it will all be set in motion.

2010, It's just the beginning.

Once again, thanks for trying.

My Immortal

2010-01-18T01:01:00.002+08:00

My Immortal - Evanescence

I'm so tired of being here,
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal,
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried,
I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream,
I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal,
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried,
I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream,
I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to
Tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along

When you cried,
I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream,
I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me

Reconnect

2010-01-14T10:59:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, it isn't up to you to choose,
Chapter 751: Reconnect
Cause your heart will do it for you.

You know the thing about bridges,
Is that it can be rebuilt.

But are you willing to set the foundation for the bridge,
Which is supposedly built on love, faith and trust?

Its still not too late to salvage on some bridges,
Though I've already gave up on some.

I can already hear someone like Weiyang saying
"If you don't try, you won't find out".

But guess what,
It takes effort, and this kind of thing has to work both ways.
And with the limited time,
You have to take out the list (as explained by Raynard).

It was once said,
"You can't save everyone"

Halo and Modern Warfare 2
Two games with a similar purpose:
Kill your opponents.

Haven't been very good at it so far,
With Jon and Paul being in the lead.

Too bad XBOX live failed.

Stop lying dormant, and wake up.

2010-01-11T23:51:00.002+08:00

つかめ！　眩しい明日を
まもれ！　愛する人を
たくましい自分になれるさ
こわせ！　弱気な君を
くずせ！　ぶつかる壁を
熱い鼓動　武器になるから
Believe in your heart

2010-01-10T19:52:00.002+08:00

For those short moments,
I understood what it meant to "feel safe".

3 Reasons To Be Happy

2010-01-09T23:26:00.003+08:00

Varies between different times and places,
Chapter 748: 3 Reasons To Be Happy
The resonance doesn't seem to change.

No. 1: NPSC BOOTH
Yes! Today is the OPEN HOUSE NGEE ANN LOVERS HAS BEEN WAITING FOR!
WHOO!
Went there to do booth duty,
Make a fool out of others,
Shoot lasers at others (oops :X)
And than started slacking with my long 'lost' PSP!

FASTFORWARDS x1---------
We took 184 from SIM (after missing 75)
Towards Bukit Panjang Plaza for a drink at STARBUCKS,
Which then I took a detour home to get the card,
(Which turned out to be not needed, but did help me alot),
And had some chit chat session,
Before we all had to depart for our individual segments.

UNWINDS x1---------

No. 2: LSCT
HAHAHAHAHAH!!!
So totally missed LSCT!!
Miss the air, the looks, the people,
like EVERYTHING!!!

And I did get the chance to go up LSCT!
And walked around with a few LSCT peeps, small talk and all.

And lastly the HUNT FOR DR.KOH!!!
(I still didn't find him though --.)

FASTFORWARDS x2---------

No. 3: Dinner and Dance
Dinner was an interesting one.
It was at Meritus Mandarin!
And I thought it was some small function/dinner,
Like the one we had at Hyatt.

But I was Wrong,
and I said Wrong,
I mean DEAD WRONG

It was a big event with many tables,
With some big shot giving a speech
(Even after I was 2 hours late),
Other major companies are there,
And I was totally under dressed
(though I stress I found it acceptable).
Got to meet other staff of my company,
and the HRs!

The place had some kind of performances and stuff,
But I kind of left early.

It's been a rather good day with minor screw ups :D

Of course,
There is more than just this.
And other ways to keep me elated.
But when does it all end.
Where does this leave everything?

I'm finally catching a valid pattern.

2010-01-07T15:05:00.000+08:00

Just around an hour ago,
The pathway started to heat up.
Calls and distress signals were being sent over.
What is going on?

Please note, the post below would be much more interesting.

It's a January Thing

2010-01-06T23:07:00.004+08:00

Everything around us may have faded away,
Chapter 746: It's a January Thing
But no one can rob us of our memories.

Frames, Dyed Red
Out of the blue,
It was suddenly lunchtime,
And I'm back in the clubhouse, which ceased to exist.
Lying on sofa,
Gazing upon the sky,
Enjoying every bit of sunlight I could get,
Taking a break from being dissed at,
And watching people who occasionally enters,
And most importantly,
Totally clueless to what 2009 had install for me.

The warm nostalgia has been filling me up recently;
I've been subconsciously doing some frame skipping.
(Not that I wanted to go around digging in those memories)

Yes,
More or less,
It has already been a year.

A few changes took place.
My beliefs has changed,
Together with other skill sets.

Although numbed,
I can still remember the 2 weeks as though as it were yesterday,
Well, almost.

I'm glad 2009 is over.
It's a bold new 2010.
May be a tad bit late,
But Merry Christmas,
Happy 19Th years and 3 months old to myself,
And enjoy a Happy New Year.

This year will be better than the last,
And going to NS won't change that fact.

To be very frank and less subtle,
Everyone has their own experiences,
and no one has the right to judge them,
Well maybe besides myself.

So stop acting as though you know everything,
and stop acting as though you know me.
And stop being such an irritating "S.O.B. and pain in the arse.

Stop being pathetic.
Just shut up and mind your own business.

Peace out :D

Never forget, what truly matters.

Paranoia Reason

2010-01-04T11:42:00.003+08:00

I dropped my guard,
Just for a simple minute,
And I lost something important.

This Christmas

2009-12-28T10:18:00.002+08:00

This Christmas
This Year, There Was No Terror.

Cons and Fusions

It had been an interesting year,
Where different things took place,
And different ways to handle different things.

Past Week

I wouldn't say that it was eventful,
But it too, wasn't boring.

It was a different way to spend Christmas XD
But no complains,
I'm just glad that no tragedies happened this X'mas LOLOLOL

---

I'm not lying,
And so aren't your senses.

Your senses never lies.
(Unless they are not operating properly)

Misinterpretation is a common occurrence.
Don't blame your senses for what your own failures.

It is important to be attentive,
And to keep an open mind,
Well,
A Logical and Rational Open Mind.

Crushed.

BATTLE

2009-12-23T17:15:00.001+08:00

I'm losing my mind.
YES, I haven't lost it, just yet.

Apparently,
There are two forces at battle.
And these forces aren't "Optimism and Pessisism".

I bet attachment did this to me!

Oh Wells,
Time to knock off.

4 months ago, I said 5 more months.
Do the math.

"It's Different"

2009-12-22T09:17:00.003+08:00

"It's Different"

Getting of 961,
I contemplated between taking 67 or taking the LRT back.
I chose neither.

Instead, I walked home alone under the rain.
Yes!
I did have my umbrella to shelter me from the precipitation,
But I still felt as though I was being pelt by rain
(Or that may be due to the fact that my jeans got wet along the way home XD)

It is like a cooling off period of some sorts;
Remembering how to walk this path home,
And how it felt.

The road from Bukit Panjang to Teck Whye,
Is filled with ups and downs,
Literally.

Mark my words, I'll flare up one day.

Eventful Times

2009-12-20T00:02:00.003+08:00

The word I should use to explain today, is "Eventful" :D

On a side note, I really need badminton to tune back up my reaction speed.

Ticks and Docks.

Tom Devoe Fan

2009-12-18T09:18:00.002+08:00

Although I've been sleeping late,
And been waking up late,
I was introduced to something awesome on CNA!

Now, it's to wait for that video to be posted on youtube :/

A Matter Of Perception

Trickery

2009-12-17T18:49:00.003+08:00

A magician will never reveal their tricks,
If it were plain tricks.

2009-12-16T10:11:00.002+08:00

I'm at WORK!
Wait, Something tells me I shouldn't be blogging.

Oh snaps :/

Dance, Sleeve of White Snow

"5 Stages of Grief"

2009-12-15T23:59:00.004+08:00

"5 Stages of Grief"

"Lost"
Perhaps I was lost, had no direction to go,
Or maybe there was a path,
But I wasn't enjoying the idea of taking it.
But deep down, I've already accepted it.

It's an unforgettable loss.

"Lies"
Once again,
I'm talking about lies!
This post is so a rip off from my archive!

Lies,
People lie to protect.
Some deceive to prevent themselves or others from being hurt,
While some may misguide others so that they achieve their ulterior motive.

Why do I lie?
I need to protect myself,
As well as lock away the past,
Because not every moment I want to keep away from the world,
Is my proudest.

But ultimately,
I don't want to lie.
If I don't answer questions,
It is due to a few reason:

1. I didn't hear it
2. Question is too vague
3. I really don't know how to answer it
4. I rather not say anything than lie.

If things are meant to be said,
It will come naturally,
Eventually.

"Intentions"
Just to get this straight,
I don't reckon I need that kind of help.

Even if I did,
If the intentions are good,
Why cause the trouble?
I seriously doubt it.

What do I need help in, you may ask.
Controlling my weight and paranoia XD

"Grief"
In actuality,
I'm long done with wallowing in self-pity XD
It's like being melodramatic and attention seeking at the same time
(which isn't my purpose, btw)

I'm not emo and /wrist,
And I've been relatively contented and happy,
BUT,
The ever so famous BUT,
I tend to forget important lessons.

I make the same mistakes,
Over,
and Over again.

Careless?
I think it is more of the lack of self-discipline.

Yes, My self-discipline went missing,
But now found :D

"Time"
With the bat of an eyelid,
Attachment ends,
Graduation is over,
No longer a Ngee Ann Student (sadly),
2 years in NS,
Attempts to enter UNI with a good science course,
While working part time.

It's a sad and lonely future.
Those aren't exactly the things I saw
(not that I remember cause it hasn't happened),
But I want a change.

And wanting isn't good enough,
It's time to walk the talk.

But where do I start?

To see the invisible,
Observe the visible.

Circumstantial Truth Pt.2

2009-12-15T00:50:00.002+08:00

I want the truth.

Circumstantial Truth Pt.1

2009-12-12T17:11:00.004+08:00

In the midst of the confusion,
Only one thing stands clear.
Circumstantial Truth Pt.1

It wasn't just an act.
It wasn't a parlour trick.
It is a matter, which can only be explained by drilling back
To the basic fundamentals of perception and
How you decide what is the truth, and what isn't.

I do see, hear and notice.
But based on circumstances,
I have to do different.

Like ignoring, for example.
Ignoring the situation,
Isn't the same as denying the truth.

Others may say that I'm often paranoid,
Freak out too easily,
Have difficulties remaining composed.

I won't say that there is no truth to that,
But that is what others perceive based on the circumstances,
It isn't necessary the full idea.

Details,
I nitpick with details a lot,
Because there isn't true certainty.
And it's proven that I'm good at putting pictures together,
With some exceptions.

A better and more subtle way to phrase it,
Is that I "Often don't pay attention to what I'm doing,
and constantly bugged with these random and irrelevant thoughts",

Ruled by insecurities,
I mean, There ARE times which I completely forget,
But totally loosening up is a no.

It seems that when I start to feel intoxicated,
My processing starts to drop,
But the observation area increases a lot,
With the down point that the attention span seems shorter than usual,
Except for times that I tried to drown it out
But it keeps coming back,
As though its easier to focus on it than to drive it away.

I would start talking even more, and even faster,
And combined with the fact that I had lost many many hours of sleep,
My body, limbs and the sense of touch (and maybe movement control)
Starts to become sluggish and droopy.
My speech also slurs and filled with more mistakes than ever.

The one issue is that,
I still didn't get drunk,
With the proof that I remembered everything till that point of detail,
I was practically awake from nightfall to daybreak.

So even under such control situations,
I have no idea what I'll be if I'm drunk,
But at least now I have a rough idea.

And I admit I held back.
I did drink, and keep drinking,
But I was careful.
To savour every moment and slowly notice how I fade away.

Savour what moment?
To enjoy how I loosen up,
Even if it was a little bit,
Even though my shoulder area was still tensed up.

Hopefully everything mentioned above
Isn't the placebo effect in place :/

One of the many pictures I haven't successfully pieced together,
Is how it works.
I know and personally lived through the phase that I know,
I know that "Everything happens for a reason".
And everything is already "beforehand" before the actual.

AND As much has I hate to admit,
Up to even this point where I'm typing this ridiculous point,
What which has never been remembered,
Is still the same,
It still happened :/

This isn't the first time I said this,
But Nothing Has Changed.

I starting to wonder if its ever possible,
To change anything,
Without taking myself out of the equation.
(Note: Observer's effect)

I just remembered that there is something I failed to mention,
Out of the entire truth,
Which a few knows,
Which I'm attempting to contain the spread,
But by doing this it doesn't help,
And I'm going to ignore their judgemental eyes
(Plus with the alcohol out of the system, I may be a bit edgy)
Using a soft touch of certainty,
I think it is over just yet.

The Many worlds interpretation.

2009-12-11T00:07:00.000+08:00

Save me,
Take me away from here.

Mess

2009-12-05T19:57:00.003+08:00

Mess
Slowly, Digging My Own Grave.

Seeking for the Wrong Things.

Such things,
Are not meant to be Forced or Tempered with.
It is going against the flow of nature.
Even if it was made to happen,
The only thing which has been done,
Is delaying the inevitable end,
While causing more collateral damage.
Not all sacrifices will find you gold.

Once in like Never.

For the first time,
Me, Raynard, and Francine,
Was at the same place at the same time!
(That basically means we met up)

Mess

In the past 3 months,
No wait, that may be incorrect.
In the past 1 and a Half Year,
I've been digging myself into this grave,
Which I've been trying to climb out.

But every time something like that (refer to locked blog) happens,
The sinkhole just gets bigger and deeper.

Sooner or later,
I'll get washed away,
When the water returns to the stream.

But which will happen first?

Foolish.

Not Ready

2009-11-28T02:16:00.002+08:00

Not Ready

I don't know.
I really don't know what I want.

Like a broken film on constant playback,
I keep seeing these images,
These images of things which didn't exist,
Of stuff that never happened,
Pictures of a non-existant reality.

I have a map and a compass,
and I know this is the correct direction,
But it suddenly points to somewhere else.
It gets worse;
It points to the place I walked past.

I'm stuck in the past,
Yet looking forward to the future,
For a change,
A new change.
Yet because I'm stuck in the past,
I can't move forward into the future.

I need to remove these blocks,
All of them.

It is time to let go,
But I can't.

2009-11-24T00:59:00.002+08:00

Another piece of advice.
From these 3 years,
If there is something I learnt,
Is that one shouldn't make sacrifices,
If they can't bear the consequences.

There isn't a point to regretting.

Will eventually be a memory,
Of a time,
That doesn't even matter.

2009-11-23T00:05:00.006+08:00

Oddly, today was fun.

---

That form,
So familiar, yet so unknown.
It is scary,
How people can be so alike,
Yet so different.
Even though it didn't really pique my interest,
It left a nagging question in my head
"Can I still keep up to the end of my bargain?"

2009-11-22T00:08:00.001+08:00

Five years ago,
Doing something like that,
Was hard.

But now,
There isn't even second thoughts.

Was the change really that big?

Dance.

2009-11-19T00:43:00.003+08:00

For the past week,
I was planning on making a post on my recent identity crisis,
Where I am so lost,
I don't even know what I'm doing.
I have labeled the recent past months as signs of looking for something to cling on,
Because due to the constant change,
I don't even recognise myself anymore,
But that post is no more.

Just from a simple extra trip made by today,
I met various people,
All from my past, present and future,
Painting a tale of my life from some point to now.
Almost every criticism, every praise and every question was remembered.
Stuff ranging from "Why are you so mean to others" to "Why .......".
Apparently,
These were the people,
Who noticed that the impeccable change occurred at the first place.
But why did I change?

Maybe it was self-protection,
Or maybe it was just adaption.
I once had the thinking that "even though I'm kind and nice to people,
They still hate me.
So there is no point in being likable,
Might as well be mean to them for the perks of it."
Seeing them also reminded me of the joy,
And the pain (to a greater extent) I used to suffer.
It isn't like I was tortured,
But it wasn't considered "nothing" as well.

But until now,
There is something I forgot,
Something I haven't considered in a long time.
"No matter how the outer crust changes,
The inside is still the same."

I may not have the exact answers now,
But I'll face the insults,
And also accept the praises.
I may be the shadow of my former self,
But when the time comes,
I'll be there to pick up the call.

The Time Just Ain't Right

2009-11-15T23:10:00.003+08:00

The Time Just Ain't Right
Know Your End Game.

Torn Between Advice and Ranting
This zone has officially became a ranting area,
Where I ~~talk~~ whine about random things,
Cause nothing much has been happening so far,
Nothing much with worth to be mentioned.

Also,
Some particular fella comes here for advice?
Sounds weird,
But,
"Why not?"

---

There are times,
Deep down within their own heart,
They know that it isn't a good idea.
No, it has nothing to do with pessimism, or anything of that sort.
What I'm referring to,
Is something usually known as a conscience.
Those of other faith may also call it inner sense, a complex of ethical and moral principles, duty, inner voice, heart;
But lets keep it simple, shall we?

For many MANY people,
In order to gain what they want,
They will resort to all means necessary,
Which includes power play,
The usually incorrectly (but in this case correctly) used "backstabbing",
Twisting of facts,
Denial of reality,
Sowing Discord and such.
And hence,
These people lose their conscience along the way.

But for what it is worth,
Whatever they gain,
In the end,
Is nothing but a double edged sword;
Something which will cause yourself harm and damage.
In addition,
As these individuals were on the path to "obtaining what they want",
I'm sure they received advice (and criticism) to stop it,
And do it the right way;
But they just won't listen,
They just don't want help,
Just won't admit they are wrong.
These people eventually lose sight,
And lose the same people who trusted them,
Who are also the same kind souls who offered help.

It's a long tale, I know,
So lets cut to the chase:

Is it really worth it?
Going through all this trouble,
When you were shown the correct path,
To eventually cause harm to yourself,
And most importantly,
Everything and everyone around you?

Remember, to stay true to yourself,
(Yourself, is in the terms of good ethics, morals and principles)
Don't lose sight,
And don't lose yourself.

When your conscience tells you, "its wrong",
and everyone else genuinely warns you about it,
You jolly well turn back,
Because you won't want to do something you will end up regretting.

Peace out.

---

Stop.
Stop circling around me you stupid orbs of light.

---

Emotions Make You Sloppy.

Forms and Markers

2009-11-07T22:49:00.005+08:00

I take too long to see it.
Forms and Markers
It isn't enough.

Markers,
Or so I nicknamed it.
As the name suggests,
Its someone with the Mark.

The thing is,
I have no idea how other Marks look like,
Whether is it all the same,
All it varies.
Also, I don't know if other Markers exist.

Now here is an interesting thought:
If the markers are really supposed to cause That,
What happens if a band of markers group together

Forms,
A word used to describe the same person having different characteristics and personalities.
It seems that when people believe you to be of this form,
They'll slowly mold you into it,
Without you noticing.

What is important is that you stay true to yourself,
Understanding that there are always choices and decisions.

However,
It is important for me to note,
That there are formless people who exists.
Or more accurately,
they live what I may call a nomadic life.

They adapt, wherever they go.
Their true self, is ironically the one with no self.
But I didn't say they don't have dreams and ambitions.

Cold and Hot Readers.
I probably mentioned this here quite some time,
But I can't stand hot readers,
Especially one who fails at trying to be a hot reader.
This kind of stuff,
If you can, you can, don't force it.

It can't be "trained",
Well maybe it can be "learnt",
But don't take the shortcut,
Do it the proper way.

If you carry on like this,
You won't become full fledged.
Wherever you go,
Whatever you do,
You'll only remain nothing but a shadow.
I'll always be ahead,
You'll always be behind,

So heed my warning:
Do it the right way.

I fear that somewhere deep down,
I may be missing you.

I'm talking about the future.

2009-11-05T19:29:00.001+08:00

Oh God,
Help me remember how does it feel to love others.

Truth and Choices

2009-10-29T00:37:00.004+08:00

Every choice as a consequence.
Truth and Choices
It is time to face the Truth.

I'm don't blame you for making those decisions.
No one took a gun against your head,
You weren't being forced into making choices,
With time spent on rationality,
Combined together with a logical mindset.

In reality,
If I were you,
I would have made the exact same choice.

People can't be bothered.
Judging is their nature.
They don't care how much effort you have put into something,
And they sure as hell don't give a damn to the process.

All they want is the quality results they expect with the snap of a finger.
Only when something goes wrong,
Then they start to have questions and be all judgey,
About why wasn't this done and other nonsense.

The truth is,
Without guidelines, without answers,
Everything isn't as simple.
When you're put in a spot,
Being in a tough situation,
And without adequate time,
Being pressurized at every single moment.
It is practically impossible to do anything correctly!

The only reason why they can reverse engineer the incorrectly named "solutions",
Is because it has already happened at the first place.

Hold true to your beliefs,
Because like your dreams,
It won't be yours for long.

Even if the world must change.

Dreams.

2009-10-25T00:29:00.004+08:00

Isn't it weird how the separated hands fell
Dreams
It's as if we're lost; you're suddenly gone

Although Maki is no longer in High and Mighty Color,
I still like their songs.
Just that I seem to prefer Maki's voice.
It is more gentle, and soothing, and fun
(Songs such as Tadori Tsuku Basho, Oxalis, Tegami, Earth,
Hinata, Mizutama Ramune, Feel Like Dance, Amazing, Hot Limit, With You etc.);
Yet it can be fierce and harsh when needed to be
(Ichirin no Hana, Pride, Here I Am, Last Word, Insomnia, The Moon Illuminates etc.)

As I was trying to get the vocals (and tune) of Dreams correct,
I once again came across the English Lyrics here: http://gendou.com/amusic/lyrics.php?id=8296&show=0

And once again,
I fell in love with them.
Even though I admit the translation isn't at an all time perfect,
Its good enough for me.
It paints the picture of something important.
Its a gentle song,
Which is nice to sing,
And may cause one to spill their emotions by accident,
(if they know the lyrics, I may add).

Of course,
Not anyones' life can be as dramatic as the song,
But you know,
Its all a matter of perception (and being denial).

This is day 2, to the rest of my life.

---

And of course, the title and song wasn't a coincidence.
Having fun,
Skipping through towns,
Just eating food (and complaining how fattening it is),
Road houses and road trips,
Visits,
Motels.

I know, I'm missing a step.
I had a dream that we went on a nice holiday,
But it wasn't a holiday at any place,
Its a holiday at my hometown.
As unlikely as it seemed,
That holiday was around when I was 25?

At least I think it was a holiday.
What else can it be?

Hold on to your dreams,
Cause they won't be yours for long.

---

If one day, I had to leave,
Had to be somewhere we won't be able to meet.
Will you even realise that I had already waved goodbye?

---

When we say good bye to the two of us from that time

It's Day 1, To The Rest of My Life.

2009-10-22T23:13:00.003+08:00

Even after the pain for the past thousand of years
All I can ask for is the conclusion
It's Day 1, To The Rest of My Life.

Work like you don't need the money
Love like your heart's never been broken
Dance like no one is watching

---

As it gently wafts in the air,
With a whiff,
It prepares the body for fight or flight.

The secret either lies in the scent,
Or it's my body's way of saying
"Stop hesitating, Start moving".

Grasp onto it eternally.

Travel

2009-10-21T21:17:00.004+08:00

What would have happened if I hadn't fall asleep?
Travel

It has been such a long time,
Since I last fell asleep on public transport without knowing or planning it.

When I woke up,
160 was already leaving Phoenix station.
Since I didn't have dinner at home anyway,
I decided to drop off at Ten Mile Junction,
and walk to Bukit Panjang Plaza to buy dinner.

As I left,
I decided to take the bus 180 home,
Because I recently got my first bus concession and didn't want to waste money.

The bus took unusually long,
And somehow,
I suddenly had the temptation to turn around.

All I can say is that,
I'm glad to see that you're living just fine.

---

If I were to have done anything differently,
If I didn't fall asleep,
If I didn't want to take the bus,
If I decided to buy something else for dinner,
Would I have changed the order of events?

---

As of late,
I've been turning a lot of heads.
What is the matter with you people?

8 more months.

Twisted Tale

2009-10-20T00:02:00.003+08:00

Twisted Tale

Here are some pointers:
Following the scenarios and actions from a certain book
Isn't good enough.

These are the kinds of things which people come up with,
Which makes it special.

If everyone does it,
What is the point?

Be creative

From Summer to Autumn.

2009-10-18T00:34:00.002+08:00

Freedom.

From time to time,
The homogeneous mixing of truth and lies,
All falls apart when expectations doesn't meet with reality.

Because you have the freedom,
To do whatever you want,
Whenever you want.

Dynamics

2009-10-13T23:24:00.002+08:00

Dynamics
Faith, the belief in making the Impossible,
Hope, the wait in making it Possible.

These dynamics work together hand in hand.
With these two factors,
The incorrectly named "Miracles" are born when the opportunities arises.

In addition, patience and determination helps to push it along,
To reduce the resistance.
Life always has ups and downs.
If you never felt pain, how do you know whats happiness?

I lost my faith,
Lost my hope.

Its time to regain them back,
The red and blue eyes.

You Lone Flower

2009-10-11T23:23:00.004+08:00

You Lone Flower.
Half a year ago,
I was foolish, arrogant and self-centered,
After these 6 months,
I can't say I'm not the same person.

But there is a significant difference:
Once the filler period is over,
I'll be the person I'm supposed to be.

Its like stepping stones really.
Slowly but steadily,
Learning how to do the right thing,
How to be a better me.
When the time comes,
You should notice that there is no other,
You should notice that there is no next time,
You should notice that there is no other,
You should notice that there is no next time,
Notice that,
You should notice that,
Notice that,
There is no other.
(Quote from Ichirin no Hana - HAMC LOL!).

Even so,
What is the basis to my decisions:
I have 3 reasons to believe so.
Even if I'm wrong,
There is no harm to being a better person, right?

Scream.

2009-10-11T02:25:00.003+08:00

Scream, Out Loud.
Ever got this feeling that no matter how hard you scream,
The world doesn't hear you?
Apparently I do.
But there is a greater sin than all that.

When you screamed nobody ever noticed,
And when I finally realised, its all too late.

2009-10-08T00:01:00.002+08:00

してください、その時間の上を移動する

생일 축하합니다

2009-10-06T07:40:00.001+08:00

공식적으로, 1 년이 지났습니다.
다시 찾고, 후
총 1 년 낭비하지했다.
그렇다해도 나는 그것을 후회하지 않는다.

Wolf boy's Fear.

2009-10-03T01:11:00.003+08:00

Lets rewind to a few days back.
I was sure that I caught glimpses of eyes filled with fear,
Fear of the past, present and future,
Though momentarily,
Being directed at me.
There is no basis to the worry.

However now that it caught my attention,
It makes me wonder, "why?"

Nine tailed' pink power; Fatal.

2009-10-02T00:07:00.004+08:00

Thanks for today's transfer,
You really made my day.

---

I'm haunted by the ghost of my past.
As I was walked into McDonalds,
I saw someone familiar,
But not someone whom I do know at a personal level;
It brought me back to the start of that story.

Two years back, at the same Mcdonalds,
A close friend was making an important decision,
Which held two different paths,
With two different individuals.
In order to make the decision,
He asked me a rather interesting question.
After some thought, I replied.

After these years,
I regretted giving the answer.
Because I didn't have enough life experience to judge the question,
I gave an amateur answer.
I have never wanted to change the past,
Ever more than this.

He asked,
"The Person who loves you, or the Person who you love."

I now know believe that I have the correct answer,
But it us all too late,
If only I could have answered correctly then..

Eternity.

2009-09-30T23:53:00.000+08:00

If I Can't Redeem Myself,
I'll Stay Like This, Forever.

In the remaining lifespan of one year.

2009-09-30T13:16:00.000+08:00

5 months ago, you told me you didn't understand.
7 months later, I'll tell you why.

Dreams

2009-09-29T00:02:00.003+08:00

Dreams
Soon.

Oddly,
I had a lot of dreams again.
But I'll like to focus on this one.

Why is this one so special?
If you want the answer, skip to the foot note,
If not, carry on.
---
It was simple,
It was real.
I didn't even know I was dreaming until I woke up:

Even after such a long time,
A soft and kind whisper into my ear,
Sent shivers down my spine.
With that closeness,
I accidentally inhaled the sweet scent,
and remember how much it used to linger.
It had been so long,
Yet even so,
I couldn't stop the warm sensation from rushing to my face.
I had to turn away,
But I was in a conversation,
It is just so rude to do so.

But even in my dreams,
Reality catches up with me quick.
The conversation was interrupted,
And never got a chance to be continued.
---

There is no basis to this dream,
No logical conclusion I can come up with.
(until 3 hours ago)

Perhaps the purpose of this dream,
Was to remind me to love myself,
To not give up on life, as it did remind me
Of how my voice did matter for once,
And how I was told, "Continue to live on".

Because of the rare occasions,
Because it wasn't meant to be,
Is the reason why it was special to me.

2009-09-28T22:01:00.003+08:00

I'm
Praying
That
This body
Lasts
Longer
Than
I
Think
It
Will.

Prologue: A Superficial Start

2009-09-22T02:18:00.006+08:00

Prologue
A Superficial Start

No matter who I meet,
Any of the first questions are always of the superficial kind.
"Why is your hair this color",
"Are you mixed",
"Where are you from".
People seem to believe that it is a good way to strike a conversation,
But no one seemed to realise that I heard it million times over.
Each of them, so caught up in their little bubble,
That they never realise that appearance alone isn't the most important thing,
As commonly said, never judge a book by its cover.

Who I am,
Doesn't matter.
What which matters,
Is that this is my story.

Before the World Ends

2009-09-20T20:09:00.006+08:00

Before the World Ends

I'm back!
The Road So Far:
Memories at the loft.
Sunny Morning in the Shelters of LSCT.
Bus and Boat, To Bintan!
Boom Netting, The advent to Survival Island!
Double to Single, The Kayaking Expedition.
Fire and the fight against sandflies.
Outdoor Cooking, Thanks for those who cooked me mee.

The Beginning of the Polar Bear.
Lets Stone some Stone Fish.
Seashore, Sea shells, Skipping Stones.
Boom Netting, The return to Loola!
The Super Cool Funky Bus!
Watching over the Flying Fox.
Story of the Desecrated Sand Pit.
Campfire and the Flares!
Short lived Disco Night.
The Invasion!

It's 6am and the sky is brightly lit.
The Last Moments to the Camp Ending.
Asleep and hurt; Bus Ride.
How Rupiah10K is SGD1.50
Boat Troubles
Singapore; Home Sweet Home.

Awake and hurt; Bus Ride (2).

That is all, the rest is up to your imagination :D

It seems as though,
When people ask if "you're okay",
They never seem to want an answer.

From what I reflected
Even if you have a massive skill pool,
Or experience that can become game changers,
There is no point if there isn't the basic leadership qualities.

"Before the World Ends"
I don't just have fears, but feelings too.
Its time to face them.
Slowly, one by one,
I'll tear these pages down.
Perhaps I'm really just too bad at expressing myself,
Or maybe I just hate to be ignored and shoved away,
But none of that actually mattered,
For a very long time,
Until now.

I probably wouldn't have admitted to this crime,
That deep down I'm hurting myself,
And this has to stop.
No one who knew me could do a thing,
No one noticed;
It took a stranger to tell me "you won't be sad forever".

Yearning for the song of an angel
To show me whats right and wrong.
Self centered as it is,
I will show the world.
How sitting around won't do anything,
As the voice of an angel once rang,
"These wounds would eventually heal".

As the World Ends,
Life will Flash before you,
Starting from the First Beginning.

Memories are important,
If you don't note it down,
You'll eventually forget it.

Amber

2009-09-15T20:23:00.002+08:00

It would have been bad enough that I let you slipped through my fingers,
But the really outrageous thing,
That I detest about myself,
Was that I didn't even have the courage to reach out and embrace you.

There aren't any.

2009-09-15T13:13:00.001+08:00

On this day, a long time ago,
I hated you, no, perhaps still hate you for not doing anything.
But I know that deep down,
I hate myself for being so helpless.

khoo.

2009-09-14T20:07:00.002+08:00

I loathe myself,
For lowering my head,
And not being able to acknowledge that you were there.

Eyes.

2009-09-06T22:43:00.002+08:00

To the you whom I locked eyes with,
I look forward to meeting you again.

Tsuzuku Sekai

2009-09-02T00:52:00.004+08:00

Tsuzuku Sekai - Shoko Nakagawa (Shokotan :D)

Song of the Week: Tsuzuku Sekai - Shoko Nakagawa (a.k.a Shokotan)
Even though she didn't recently rise to fame,
I recently got to know of her,
and she is probably my second to High and Mighty Color.
Of course its a Japanese Song
So below is the English translation

How much time has to pass before it will stop
The rain that runs down my frozen, unmovable cheeks
Every time I breath, it moves farther away
The precious world

Without being able to say goodbye
Your everything spills down
I grasp it tight to keep from letting go
This pain and that warmth

How much do I have to scream before it reaches you
My feelings simply continue to rain down with no hope of being granted
I don't care if I have to give up everything in exchange
If I could just see you once more

Without being able to say goodbye
Your everything spills down
I rise from the ashes to keep from letting go
Your voice and our days together

Could it be at that time
Did I feel this way?
Right now, you smile beside me
For forever, I'm sure

Without being able to say goodbye
Your everything spills down
I rise from the ashes to keep from letting go
Your voice and our days together

Without being able to say goodbye
My everything spills down
I grasp it tight to keep from letting go
This pain and that warmth

Scarlet Fragments

2009-08-20T00:25:00.005+08:00

Scarlet Fragments

For 07 GHOST fans,
AKA NO KAKERA
MANGA: http://www.onemanga.com/07_Ghost/
ANIME: Can downloaded from Dattebayo

English

A thirsty voice crying out is heard
"Unfasten the darkness within the memory"

Always the final answer's choice
Would hurt someone
As you don't know what the truth is
To return to the brightness
You pass through thousands of times

The scarlet fragments that won't return
Grasping tightly, and continuing doubtfully
Until you discover the eye that reflects you

Born of hollow idle thoughts
There is no strength just to atone

Always lost somewhere
Fearing something without form
Again entangled in chains that won't be broken away
Struggling and searching
Crawling up through a continuing cruel time

The crumbling memory of snow
Reeling in closer, seeming to be broken
Until obtaining the strength not to hurt anyone

Hurting, to hurt, a world only of lies
If you can be forgiven, the door waiting for you will open

Hold tightly to the memory
To the journey without an end

The blue fragments searched for
Are overflowing at your chest
Hold tightly to the memory
To the journey without an end

Until you discover the seven souls and the eye

Aka no Kakera - Suzuki Yuki

Missing Links

2009-08-17T23:03:00.001+08:00

Missing Links

Even the Internet can't help me.
Something as easy as that,
Yet it can't be found.
Guess it is too old for someone to post on the internet.
But since they do update it,
There should be publishers, or anything,
to be found.

If it really can't be done,
I'll have to go there myself.
Which is the hard part.

The New Laptop

2009-08-12T22:34:00.004+08:00

I'm not even sure whether will I like how the new laptop looks like.
It may not even operate as well too.

But its the sacrifice I made,
No regrets.
I'll learn to love it more than the one I had.

Break it or Lose It

2009-08-11T01:29:00.002+08:00

It Is Either Break It Or Lose It.
And Sometimes There Isn't Even A Choice